Archive for the compassion Category

What Good Will Hunting Can Teach Us About Men, Shame, and Suicide

What Good Will Hunting Can Teach Us About Men, Shame, and Suicide

“Shame, fear, isolation, addiction. Shame, fear, isolation, addiction. After a few hundred times through the spiral, men will do anything to get off the ride, including suicide.”   Last week, I re-watched Good Will Hunting for the first time since Robin Williams’ suicide. I’ve always felt that […]

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How to Stay Positive in a (Sometimes) Negative World

Let’s face it—most people have at least a few things they can legitimately complain about. From a boss who doesn’t appreciate you to those minor-but-annoying things your spouse does from time to time, life can be challenging. Of course, some people have even more serious issues to […]

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Fear and Loneliness in Men and Boys

How fear and loneliness are wired together in boys and men ¯¯¯ On Friday, I planned to attend the Compassion Focused Therapy Workshop, but my son’s school had a staff learning day. So I arranged to have my son stay at my mother’s house on Thursday night. […]

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Why I Practice Compassion

Why I Practice Compassion

Kozo Hattori explains why he practices compassion above all else while raising his sons.   ‾‾‾ After soccer on Saturday, we made plans with another family to eat at Subway. On the way to the restaurant, 7 year old Jett threw a tantrum. “I don’t want Subway. […]

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Why Soccer Is Not A “Man’s” Game

Why Soccer Is Not A "Man's" Game

Like many Americans, my heart stopped in the last few seconds of the World Cup game against Portugal and was restarted after the finish of the games on Thursday. The US team survived the “Group of Death” by the skin of their heads. Unfortunately, I felt more […]

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The Hulk vs. Superman: A Battle Between Men’s Anger and Heroic Compassion

The Hulk vs. Superman: A Battle Between Men's Anger and Heroic Compassion

One of the parenting decisions I’m not proud of was letting my sons watch The Avengers when they were 3 and 5 years old. This bad decision haunted me over and over whenever my sons would yell “Hulk smash!” and destroy everything in sight: legos, furniture, and […]

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What Elliot Rodger Needed: An Elephant

What Elliot Rodger Needed: An Elephant

We can learn from elephants how to stop mass shootings. Kozo Hattori explains.   I recently wrote an article about the shooting in Isla Vista. A day after the article was published, Aaron Ybarra killed Paul Lee and injured two other students at Seattle Pacific University. Then […]

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NOT Getting to Hug Amma

NOT Getting to Hug Amma

On Monday, I went to a Conversation on Compassion with Amma at Stanford. Here are a few highlights: “Compassion is the most important factor in life” “Compassion is the first step. If we can take that step courageously without fear then everything else will follow spontaneously.” “When […]

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Dear 15 Year Old Self: Shower Naked in the Locker Room Now

Dear 15 Year Old Self: Shower Naked in the Locker Room Now

Dear Young Kozo, Although I know your body is as tender and hairless as a fresh cut piece of sushi and you are one of the smallest kids in your class, I urge you to drop your drawers and start showering in the boy’s locker room now. […]

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Letting Go of Everything

I got an email from an old surfer friend who watched the video about driving I posted on the homepage of PeaceInRelationships.com. He said that his conversion from an offensive driver to a “let it go” driver saved him unnecessary conflict and anger. My friend’s comment got […]

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